I recently tried to bake a batch of my favorite cookies of all time, molasses cookies. These were a staple of my childhood as my grandmother almost had a fresh batch everyday when I would come home after preschool to see her. The cookies are pure comfort for me. I wanted to surprise my dad with a batch for his birthday, and this is what came out.
The recipe called for chilling the dough for an hour, and I bypassed that step by thinking freezing for 20 minutes would be the equivalent. Turns out, it doesn’t. After pulling these cookies out of the oven, I felt an overwhelming sense of defeat. I took this mistake much harder than anyone would have expected- I truly felt like a failure. This batch of cookies was a metaphor of what I have been feeling. Flat, and uninspired. I haven’t updated this lately, and I haven’t cooked as frequently. I became too content on what I considered to be a passion, and let myself settle. I’ve never been the best at personal accountability, and as much as I do cook at home–sitting down with the laptop just didn’t become a priority. I don’t have much of an explanation why. I’ve cooked quite a few delicious meals since my last post, but I just never felt like others would be interested. Or perhaps that my posts and attempts seemed juvenile. I continued to doubt myself over, and over again. I had a wake up call, and now’s the time to change that, I realized that this wasn’t about enticing others. This blog’s purpose was to chronicle my own experiences, and be vulnerable compared to the many “perfect” food blogs I follow.
I admit that sometimes I need encouragement to drive me to achieve the things for myself. And I’m going to ask that if you see me soon, ask me what I’ve been cooking, what’s next, and when’s the next post. Or when can you come over for dinner 😉
I appreciate all of you. Thank you.
Until then, I’m off to make another batch of cookies.